Tainted heart
by Corrode
Summary: Saved....she'll be trained, but somethings not quite right...delusions....how will she know whats real, and why can't King just let her be, she hates him, or she's trying to....but he's so sexy-Warning smuty goodness, no soft stuff here...


**Here's my first shot at a Blade fic, hope you all like it please review. Oh and I don't 'em I just play with them, rolling them around in head till I am satisfied with the results. Warning for major smuty goodness in later chapters this one is mostly suggestive, but I always earn my mature rating, so don't read if sex offends you. I am using a Mary Jane who is my own concoction….be kind avid readers I promise a good character….love ya, and happy breeding plot bunnies to all-Corrode**

**Chapter one**

The spray of the water called my name; I couldn't help the delicious chill from scooping down my spine as I entered the plastic world that had been tarped off to provide privacy for the members of the Night Stalkers. I clutched at the towel snuggling it around me; while, trying to fight off the chill relating to any thoughts my sullenness might cause. Luckily most the others were out or asleep and so running into anyone was a slim to none chance; yet- I felt uneasy as I moved across the chipped and grouted floor. Something had my instincts bristling, flicking alive like a nest of angry bees. I clutched my body wash tighter in my arms prepared to use it like a slingshot if I had to….and listened restlessly for any sound that would spring me into action. Although, I talked big I wasn't really ready to fight alongside the Night Stalkers I was still too angry, to unable to tap into that anger in a focused way, instead of throwing it out in all directions and hoping for a hit. King reminded me of this incessantly, coming in with his witty remarks like a freakin ninja, and then stealing off into the night with that damnably sarcastic smile lighting his eyes.

I thought perhaps he was trying to make me smile, but it had been so long since I used the emotions capable of lifting my lips, that I wasn't sure if I remembered how. And so he just succeeded in making me angry, making me bitter as I remembered all that I had lost. So humor was his way of coping as anger had recently become mine, it was safer for me. At least with anger I had no chance of opening myself up, no chance of feeling something for a person and then losing them, not in this life-never again.

So King meant well I suppose but he also seemed to make an easy target for said anger, glowing brightly in his humor and manner like a giant muscled bulls-eye. And I aimed my tantrums his way often feeling great at the time and guilty afterwards. Yet King never cared to back down, to let up on his sarcasm, and soon I'd be aiming malice filled blow darts at him again, as if I could cut him with looks and words alone, he was so maddening.

Pulling myself quickly to a stop I dug my heels into the floor, sure I'd heard some breathing. Would I ever be able to completely relax again? How many times did I need to check the closet before bed, to peer into the darkness, only to turn the light back on? And yet my world had become nothing but a series of hard training sessions punctuated by nightmares, nightmares so vivid and intense I could swear that they were the reality, and this was only a delusion my mind had created. In fact that was the reason for my shower this time of night; I wasn't yet ready to fall back inside the nightmare yet.

The other members told me it was common to have nightmares and that they might recede with time, yet in this line of work you might just create new ones. I still wasn't used to the terrifying force the dreams held over me, keeping me hostage once again in my own mind…they were like terrorist fighting for control or destruction.

There it was again, it was defiantly breathing- whispering and labored. I felt my body tense straining my already taunt muscles, was one of the showers going? Surely they weren't back already…then I heard a grunt, a distinctly male grunt and a hissing of breath like he was in pain.

I debated turning right back around and getting the hell out of this nightmare waiting to happen. But if there really was someone hurt, if somehow one of those monsters had gotten into the hideout….I would be the last line of defense and whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not these people were my family now. Tucking my towel more securely into the fold at my breast I crept forward silently, body wash ready and held high while I waited to throw aside the plastic and leap into action.

There was a dark figure on the other side of the milky tarp moving with spasmodic rhythm breathing even harder, he groaned and I could tell in the timber of his voice that it was indeed King who was in pain. I reconsidered my tactics maybe he was just sore after battle in which case I would look like a complete fool, and I would never live that one down. Biting my lip I hesitated, I was sure even with all his annoying habits King would use every resource he had to help me if the situation warranted it. He was the one who found me after all, who had taken me on as his own project, despite all my initial objections. And when he wasn't talking I'd actually become somewhat fond of him, I would never let him know that though.

King choose that moment to do this shrieking groaning growl kinda thing and my mind was instantaneously made up. I pulled back the curtain raised the body wash even higher and skidded into a completely wet, completely alone and completely surprised man.

Wrapping his arms around me to keep me from falling, in my shock and embarrassment I stood- arms still extended to beat any threat down with the body wash, which was now clutched in a very shaky grip. I flushed when I felt his manhood pressing into my thigh, and realization dawned on what exactly King had been doing in the shower.

Why had it not occurred to me before it was a normal natural male thing to be doing? The answer to that question came easily enough-because I hadn't been living a normal natural life for years now. God, I was a freak and I was horrified that King now knew just how much of my assurances were false fronts. Looking up into the amber glow of his dark lashed eyes, eyes that now sparkled with mischief, with amusement I let the bottle of body wash slowly lower, my towel now soaked to my skin.

'' Coconut Rainforest huh, looks lethal'' raising a sardonic brow he continued '' If you wanted me to let up some slack on the training……you could have just asked''.

'' I thought…….I thought I heard'' I struggled to get the words out past lips numb with embarrassment, and now he was smiling.

King looked down pointedly; admiring the towel that now wet had slipped to show one peeking nipple, pressed into that lean muscular chest.

'' If you've come to beat me I'm glad you dressed for the occasion…..I've never liked to shower alone''.

My face was quickly going from embarrassed red to fury red with each successive word that fell from between his lips. I won't deny he was sexy as hell, hard and wet but why did he always have to ruin it with his mouth.

'' I thought you were in pain'', I shot out at him not even pausing but forging on ahead '' you could at least have the decency to let me go King''!

'' I would but I think that might be the only thing keeping your towel up……not that I'd mind but I was trying to be chivalrous'', his smile widened.

'' Hard thing to do with your cock pressed into my leg ''.

'' Maybe, I just like the flecks in your eyes….green I see''.

'' My eyes are in my face not my breast'', I said baring my teeth.

'' You were worried about me? So you're not all hard ass like you pretend……'' King let this startling statement hang on the air as his gaze softened, and he spoke again '' you're going to need to talk to someone eventually or the nightmares might not stop''.

''How did you…'' he interrupted me.

'' What do you think I'm doing up, I could hear the screams all the way down the hall '', his eyes looked concerned which caught me off guard, I was used to the sarcastic asshole grin, it was safer to hate him, safer to blame him. So I pushed back up my guard like a steel trap around me and said in a tone of biting sarcasm

'' Jerking off in the shower''.

He looked a little dejected, and later I would probably guilt myself into a little self loathing but I couldn't do the vulnerable thing, I couldn't risk my emotional stability. I was so afraid that once I did open myself up it would be like releasing the sluice gates…I might just drown in the aftermath.

And then he smiled defenses and culpability firmly in place he looked like a boy caught in the act of a wet dream and I almost smiled….almost.

'' What can I say sometimes a little one on one is the only way to fly…….unless you'd like to help''?

I huffed, and mustering as much dignity as I could I stepped away letting the towel slide slowly down placing my hands on my hips and giving him plenty of time to drink me in with his eyes I stuck out my chin and stated firmly.

'' This is one body that will never be beneath yours, so get a good look while it lasts'', then turning I walked confidently from the shower room, my new muscles flexing behind me as I went, I knew I looked good……and I smiled, just a tiny lift of my lips. I was in trouble. If I had to fight off my feelings towards King like a hoard of hungry vampires I would…..but damnit he would suffer to for making it necessary.

'' I didn't want a shower anyway''. I threw over my shoulder taking in his open mouth and widened eyes, god he looked good, what a perfect male specimen, all golden and lean muscled- like fucken Zeus descended to seduce more maids. And seduce them he did I'd been here long enough to see the gaggle of silly geese all flapping for his attention. The only one who didn't seem affected was Abby…..maybe Abby had some tips on how to avoid impaling oneself on King's sword. If she was awake I might just ask.

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'' Hey, you still up huh?'' I looked in on the site that was Abigail Whistler most called her Whistler, just as most called me Mandrain. My first name was Molly but only Abby had taken to using it and so I did her the courtesy of doing the same for her. She was the closest thing I had to a friend in the group and once you got passed the initial ice queen assessment you found a very passionate woman just doing what she felt was right….I understood her nature-I liked her.

'' Another nightmare Mol'' she questioned looking up from the desk lamp. Her long black glasses slashed shadows across her forehead. She was obviously tired you could tell in the rubbing of the eyes and the dark purple smudges beneath. She was so beautiful, so much the warrior…but right now she just looked like an overworked librarian.

'' Yeah, I was gonna shower…..''

'' I wouldn't, Kings in there and well he usually takes his time and……'' She looked flushed and flustered so I saved her the words.

'' So you've walked in on him to''? I collapsed in a jumble of legs into the leather chair beside the desk.

'' After I brought him here…not on purpose of course, I thought he might be…..''

'' In pain'', I offered, Abby nodded and then broke into a wide grin.

'' What did he say?'' she asked.

'' Just one of his wise ass remarks about Coconut Rainforest looking lethal'', she raised her brow in question.

'' I was afraid he was being attacked by something…and all I had was my body wash…….'' I realized immediately how lame I sounded and then Abby started laughing and again I smiled, well I'll be damned I can still smile, I thought.

'' Did you run?''

'' That would have been impossible since his arms were wrapped around me''.

The light of war came into Abby's eyes as she stated,'' that basterd ''.

'' Well I did skid into him, he was trying to keep me from falling……that's when I realized what he'd really been doing''.

Abby's mouth fell open and she looked aghast.

'' What the hell does he think he's up to, he didn't take advantage….I mean I know he can be kind of a lecher sometimes but I always thought he had his boundaries''?

'' No, it's not that, that's bothering me, it would have been easier if he had though…then I would have a good reason to hate him'', I answered lowering my eyes I fumbled with the hem of my short ti, glowering into my lap like a petulant child.

'' Then what?''

'' He wanted me to talk to him about my nightmares'', headlights of surprise gleamed in Abby's eyes as she questioned,'' Let me get this straight….King had a naked woman in his arms and he just wanted to talk?'' She looked speculative for a moment before stating. '' He's right you know. He went through a very terrible ordeal himself……his nightmares were so bad, he wouldn't sleep for days sometimes……he looked so haunted, if you can imagine that'', she added with a smile.

'' What happened to him? I know you found him and changed him…just like he did for me, but what really happened''?

'' That's not my story to tell….but I do know one thing- after he started to unburden his mind, to say out loud what he'd been through…..slowly he recovered. And now he's the sarcastic prick you see before you. But look don't judge him too harshly…..he really is a good man, he'll grow on you'', she patted my arm returning to her side of the desk when I blurted out

''That's the problem he is growing on me, I can't put myself out there again like that……so I just pretended I didn't care, that I didn't want or need his kind of help, I feel like such a bitch!'' I said agitated with myself, I continued '' He made some quip about me wanting to shower with him and it made me so angry…probably because on a purely physical level, he was right and he was smirking, like an egotistical pig.''

'' What did you do'', Abby asked leaning across the desk.

'' I let the towel drop and made up some nonsense about how _this body will never be beneath you_, and I walked slowly out. Damn him if he thinks I'm not going to make it as hard for him as it is for me…….I don't need more pain in my life right now''!

Abby clapped her hands together and looked gleeful in the way two woman sharing a joke at a mans expense only can.

'' Sounds like you did a good job to me……so what's the problem?'' she looked into my eyes piercing me with her own, she had a way of unnerving you, as if she could look into your soul or something.

'' I was hoping you could give me some tips on how to avoid being sucked into those bedroom eyes of his''.

Abby pursed her lips and replied, '' I guess I've known him for so long…..I can't see him in that way, I mostly see him as a brother now….once I got past his physical appearance. I might have been attracted to him in the beginning, but I turned it off a long time ago…decided killing Vamps was more important than having a relationship.'' It sounded kind of sad when she said it, but she was very passionate about her work it was no surprise she didn't feel she needed a life outside, her work was her life. I just hope I can do the same.

'' Thanks Abby…I'm sure I can do the same thing'', she looked at me with a huge cloud of doubt mirrored in her pupils.

'' Did I mention we had lots of angry sex first''? and I groaned.

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Well he wasn't even getting angry sex with me……..sex lead to complications, usually more of the women's problem than the mans, who wanted to be just another notch on that huge cow skull belt of his anyway? I looked up to see him entering the room swaggering with all the easy grace of a confident man, eyes sharply outlined in coal lashes, thick hair still damp, with a beard freshly trimmed to perfection. The only man I had ever met who could pull off the beard and still manage to look sexy, it only made him seem more dangerous, more feral like a jungle cat. Focus Molly I demanded of myself, focus on the training.

'' Looking refreshed Molly'', he quipped sending a white toothed grin my way….it was a joke at my expense because I still hadn't gotten a shower, and he knew it. Sleeping had also eluded me, when I got back to my room last night all I could think about was King's hard wet body pressed into mine. When I had finally gotten up to take a shower I'd found him, yet again occupying the shower- this time I waited only to be told when he emerged clean and fresh faced an hour later, that training would be in ten minutes. I knew I didn't have time for a shower and when I'd looked up to argue and seen that damnable smile once again, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. But I was pissed, cranky from lack of sleep and he was making comments about how shitty I looked, he was in for one hell of a training session, I could dish just as well as he.

'' Didn't your mother ever tell you the more you play with it, the more likely it is to fall off?'' I looked up at him sweetly, he laughed.

'' Besides, I don't remember giving you permission to call me Molly''?

'' You didn't, but I figured after such an intimate position……'' he came closer rounding me from behind I could feel his breath on the sensitive nerve endings at the base of my neck as he whispered deeply '' I could call you just about any fucken thing I wanted .''

I cringed as a wave of warmth spread down that side of my body; this wasn't going to be as easy as I'd hoped. But damn him if he thought I would let it. Plastering an aloof mask over my features I brought down my shields…..I wouldn't let him get to me that would be playing right into his hands.

'' In and out Molly….no keep your hands up high, block it…..block it goddamnit'', I weaved in and out trying to focus, but my mind kept wandering. I told myself it was from lack of sleep but I couldn't stop thinking about my dream. In fact it was almost like it was bleeding over into reality. King would lift the weights from their places on the rack and I would hear the dragging of chains and I kept hearing that monsters voice in my head…only it wasn't like it was just in my thoughts…..I could actually hear it. _Molly_ it started out _Molly you will always be mine-I will find you again Molly_. It was getting louder now, I was weaving in and out but my eyes were becoming blurry. _Molly I know you are out there…waiting for me….waiting for me to make you whole again, Molly, Molly Molly_- it was in a sing song voice now and he kept calling my name, the monster who had been my master for so long….he couldn't be alive, could he?

And then it was King above me calling my name, Alester's face melting into the concerned soft eyes of my trainer, but he was more than that King had saved me. I couldn't remember falling to the ground but it was so peaceful down here, the room was swaying as King leaned over me and I knew I was going to pass out but that's okay cause that's just what I wanted……I was so tired.


End file.
